By Sheila Buckmaster
Tony will arrive at Talbot Interfaith Shelter in time for the morning meeting. When it comes to TIS meetings and classes—all designed to help guests on their journey to independence—Tony tries to attend them all, especially meetings that address recovery. More on that soon… But for now, let’s call him “the meetings man.”
After the morning meeting, he showers and goes to bed for a well-deserved rest – one that he’ll gladly interrupt if he has a class to attend or there is a special activity. One class he remembers fondly was called Getting Ahead in a Just Gettin’ by World. Getting Ahead focuses on overcoming poverty and building self-reliance. Each person in the class was assigned a word. Tony’s was CHANGE. He thought a lot about the meaning of that word and did some research on the computer. The next week, he addressed the group, sharing what the word meant to him. Each member of that group was similarly tasked with a word—just one of many meaningful sessions designed to move guests forward in their lives.
You’d like Tony—his calm, his good manners, his sense of humor, the way he makes eye contact, his no-mistaking-it sincerity. And a smile that’s warm enough to melt a snowman.
Earlier this year, Tony was at His Hope Ministries, the overnight homeless shelter in Denton. He hoped to move into TIS—in part to be closer to Walmart. The first time he called TIS, he learned that there was no room for new guests. But the second time was the charm. He was invited to come in for an interview, a 90-minute process that covered lots of ground. He was asked about his past and his hopes for the future. “What can we do to help you?” was a particularly interesting question. He told them that he wanted to continue to change his life, to become the man he knew he could.
No surprise: Tony aced the interview and was invited to move into the shelter – a place of safety, support, and joy. “That’s when my life really began to change,” Tony says. Getting to know the ropes started with being assigned a Case Manager. With his trademark enthusiasm, he says, “I have to give a shout-out to DeWayne Camper, my Case Manager.” To have someone solidly in his corner meant everything to someone who, as a child, grew up on the streets and was never hugged. DeWayne was there for him. Always. He helped Tony to understand that he didn’t have to be embarrassed by his past.
As he expressed during his preliminary TIS interview, he was determined to continue on his road to recovery. Tony had been previously caught in a web of addiction. But there’s good news: by the time I sat down with him to share his story, he’d been 19 months clean – an accomplishment he shared with a clear sense of pride. His long—and thus far fruitful—experience with recovery inspires him to help others. “My goal is to work as a recovery counselor.” He’s already on his way, having shared his journey with folks in jail and other institutions devoted to helping people who are on the rocky road to changing their lives.
But let’s get back to the shelter. There’s a reason why the place is neat as a pin and so inviting. Each guest has roles to fulfill—helping with laundry, cleaning up after dinner. “My jobs,” says Tony, “were keeping up with the yard work and taking out the trash.” There were rules to follow, and Tony abided by them all, starting with morning inspections. “We had to have our living quarters neat and clean.” Learning responsibility is very much part of the TIS experience.
Why has this story flirted with past tense? I thought it would be fun to build a little suspense… because Tony’s “present” is filled with good news! After six months at the shelter, Tony was ready for the next chapter in his life—one brimming with excitement. He moved to one of TIS’ rent-subsidized transitional apartments, a big step closer to self-sufficiency. This move was a source of enormous satisfaction! Tony’s daughter Diamond recently moved in with him. “Yes, Diamond—like the rock. I named her,” he says…and smiles. Father and daughter as roommates. That has to make you smile!
You won’t, however, be surprised to learn that Tony still attends TIS classes and meetings. After all, “the road to recovery doesn’t ever end,” he says. Tony, we are all rooting for you and, in our hearts, know that your sense of purpose will win out. You’re one special guy.
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